That sucks.

I think I did something wrong. No no, Put it this way. I screwed up too much lately. Let me rephrase that. I have made the biggest mistake in my life. It is by far the most regrettable act I have ever done since my first day of aging. I may perhaps comfort myself by throwing excuse like ‘it is normal for someone to face that kind of problem. It is just something “forgivable.”’ But I know myself well enough that I hate these kinds of self-soothing excuses, accompanied by a perfect word in a pair of sarcastic quotation marks.

A couple of months ago, I read a book namely “One more day”, written by Mitch Albom. Don’t get me wrong here. My act has nothing to do with that book. I just want to talk about something from it. There is something intriguing asked on its first page or may be even on its cover, if I am not wrong. Since I posses that book no longer, there is a high uncertainty in my assurance. So, here it is:

“If you had a chance, just one chance, to go back and fix what you have done wrong in life, would you take it?”

It is a very generous and irresistible offer. Isn’t it? How many of people over 100 you think will simply say “Yes” to that question? Would it be 80 or 90? Make it even 95 or more than that. Every single one will take that kind of chance without hesitation. But I don't think I will. Let me clarify about my opinion. I am saying this not because I know for damn sure that no chance like this would be given in reality, in life, but because I think that those mistakes make us who we are today at best or at worst. Everything happens for a reason. Agree? ☺ Whatever doesn’t kill us simply make us stronger.

However, we love to talk about rewinding time. I bet everyone loves to do so although it is sadly out of our capability, especially when we lose someone we can’t replace or we did something wrong which we can’t make it up to. Sometimes, the consequences are just too much burden to bear with. It is like the world is on your shoulders. Everyone is leaning on you. Sometimes, it feels like the world is almost over when everything is fairly paid. Well, I guess the night is dark just before the dawn.

There is a sucker born every minute. Sadly, I am.

P.S. Merry Christmas Everyone! :)

Goodchild.

Fool enough?

...

There is a time when a man needs to fight.

And there is a time when he needs to accept that his destiny's lost.

The ship has sailed and that only a fool will continue. The truth is I've always been a fool.

From "Big Fish".

Goodchild.

Movie Freak

“It’s difficult to understand the sum of a person’s life.

Some people will tell you it’s measured by the ones left behind.

Some believe it can be measured in faith.

Some say by love.

Other folks say life has no meaning at all.”

Morgan Freeman

If you have seen the movie “The Bucket List”, you will be familiar with that phrase. It begins at the end. It seems strange to start a movie with the end. But all endings are beginnings. We just don’t know it at the time.

Do you already think by now this fella is already on the wrong track? No, no, no. Don’t run away. Stay with me. I will not talk about movies. I will not talk about how awesome they are and why they deserve five stars. I will not talk about how they dazzle you and why you like to borrow perceptions from them. I don’t usually talk about things that you already realized or noticed. I don’t usually do the questions that you already know the answers.

I just want to talk about how I feel...Yeah, how I feel about them, the flawless movies which deeply interest me, and how dare they influence me. I want to tell you how much I internalize their opinions. I know what you are thinking. This bloke is a freak. Particularly a movie freak. Particularly a movie freak who enjoys movies alone. It is shame in blood but I admit that I am. I’m a movie freak. If I find them to my liking, I will simply just internalize and adopt their perspectives as my own. I can watch a movie a thousand times over that I profoundly fixate. I still enjoy watching it in the last time as same as I did in the first time. I prefer to watch a movie that totally dazzled me and took my breath away along with its cast at the end than a new one which I am not very sure myself to find it to my liking. As a direct consequence I end up watching my favorites again and again, and over and over.

F.Y.I, I mostly watch drama. Not Korean or Japanese Love drama. Love, Love, Love... You know what… they just can’t simply burst out from the cocoon. In a matter of fact, they are unconsciously rated by the amount of tears shed away. The more tears streaming down, the more thumb-ups awarded in return. They just soothe weak souls for God’s sake. Rooms are full with softness. Trust me your soul will simply burnout and turn into ashes if you internalize them enough. That is totally absurd. Damn! I’m already pessimistic enough and digressing from my topic. Alright, I’ll just let it go.

Anyway, where was I? Ahh.. favourite movie part, alright. Let me tell you what happened when I tried to introduce my very dramatic drama to others. A few months ago, I had visitors at my house. I tried to entertain them in an act of hospitality. So I showed them my favourite drama namely “Big Fish”. It is about a father who loves to tell stories in a slightly exaggerated manner but they really happened throughout his life. Basically, when he starts to tell a story, time rewinds and shows the moments. In a way, the story line is not thrilling, no bandits robbing Swiss bank, no gun powder or no assassination at all. So what happened is that they simply get bored in very first twenty minutes while I was enjoying my fifth time of watching. It is obviously too far from them finding it to their liking. I was shocked and speechless.

Well, my bad of keenness to introduce those stuffs to them badly. But, what I want to confront is that this move is about a man’s life. It serves much higher purposes than those plane-hijacked movies. Our life is also a movie which is written, directed and acted by ourselves solely. It is like watching other man’s life in 90 mins. How could they easily get bored? Alright, never mind. Put it this way. Most people just want to be entertained. As long as they are amused in 90 mins of watching a rolling tape, just be it 1 or 5 stars. If not, the movie is deliberately wasting their time. Ain't I right?

So, what about you, fella? Do u also watch a movie for the sake of being entertained? If so, pass up my following favourite movies;

1. Big Fish
   
2. The Shawshank Redemption
3. The Pianist
4. The Bucket List
5. Schlinder’s List
6. Sleuth
7. Dead Poet Society
8. Into the wild

I’ll let notify you some more if I found new favourite ones. But not going to be very soon, as I told you the guy like me keeps watching his most liked movies a thousand times over.

GoodChild.

Flair

Everybody should have one talent. What is Urs?

Nobody should have more than one talent. If you do, trust me you are lying or you don’t know what your talent is. The only talent I have right now is for cashing my allowance. What am I? A joker? Nope, that’s the truth, a harsh one. I don’t think I have a proper one like other does. Perhaps I haven’t found something at which I am truly good at yet. Who knows?

So of course, I wonder where my talent lies. It came to me in an epiphany. "Eihh, I was not that bad at drawing. If I would have cultivated it, it might have turned out to be my talent. Damn! I should have fostered it. Shouldn’t I?" So I bought a sketch book and some pencils as if mine has something to do with drawing. It is difficult to take up drawing again at my age. Particularly for the guy like me who has never made any pictures since I was twelve.

Why at that particular age? Alright. I can still recall me of myself fantasizing over and sketching a small village for Chris’ sake. I drew it not because I wanted to but because my stupid little cousin-sister was crying over me to get one of those. The drawing was certainly very much less magnificent than my imagination. Anyway after that I don’t even remember if I had made another successful attempt at sketching a single proper drawing again. But, now is what really matters right? So, I sharpened my three new pencils and let them accompanied by an eraser. The bad thing is that they are still there, simply lying on my sketch book without having touched or moved or used at all. Well, but not anymore, folk, not anymore. By the time being, I might have used one of my sketch-paper at least. Perhaps I might have already found the answer.

Everybody should have one talent. What is Urs? :)

Goodchild.

Affection or Madness

.
Early to bed, Early to rise,
Ends up longing u much at night.

Sleepless night hunts me down,
How can I live through that long.

When hark! What is this I see,
Hands reached to where U.sed to be.

Deep sighs still kept me awake,
N drove me crazy till that late.

Heard a train passing by,
I ran after and fell behind.

Passed a message "I miss u",
I wish it halted to awake U.

Clock tilted to 5:00, n walked away,
Time to portray another play.

Goodchild.

A Very Beginning

.
Some people said you can vent your fury or frustration by blogging. So, here I am, in front of 13 inches screen, blogging out of my boredom in the middle of the night..

I created my very first blog last year. That was in my mother tongue. Somehow I discarded it and, I don't really want to reminisce the reason why. But anyway, what matters right now is here I am again, making a fresh attempt to placate my feelings of guilt.

I have read other people's blogs lately, including friends' and strangers', and yet I'm very clueless when it comes to blogging. I have always wanted to write a proper blog. Not only things are which not in daily routine, but also intriguing issues related to our mind, particularly emotions. Words had it our mind simply lacks the capacity of fathom. Yeah so, kindly bear with my coming quite partial perspectives. :P

I wish I could continue writing that those interesting posts, but for now let me be lazy around since there is no mood to address such big topic at 3:00 in the morning. Aiya! the night is still too young to fall asleep.

P.S. I know u might be thinking that this guy is already lazy at his very first new post. Whatever mate! :)

Gnight.

Goodchild. 3:10AM